Map Time!
I probably should have included this earlier for reference, but hey, it’s here now!
XXXI
THE TREASURE HUNT –
FLINT’S POINTER
Silver leads the pirates back to the campfire, which is a blazing giant bonfire just now cool enough to approach. They cooked like half the stores they had left, and while they are munching away, Silver gives them a all a pep talk.
Silver: Cheer up me hearties, we have this here boy to use as a bartering chip.
Pirates: Okay, that’s fair.
Silver: Plus, keeping him alive keeps me in favor with Captain Smollett and crew, should my tentative alliance with you prove untenable.
Pirates: Wait, what?
Silver: What?
In a shocking twist, turns out that half their stores are way too much food, so they toss the leftovers in the fire. Talk about living like there is no tomorrow. What do they plan to eat on the trip home? Crow? Probably crow. And humble pie. Or nothing, because, you know, dead.
As they are likely too dimwitted to realize their lack of foresight, Jim points out that they are already out of their own provisions, and soon to be out of the supplies that our heroes brought to the stockade. This lack of foresight that would be surprising, had the author not already gone out of his way to point out their stupidity.
Thus equipped, Jim, Silver, the five pirates, and Silver’s parrot set off to find where in the gigantic X on the map it the exact coordinates of the treasure. A big fat X marks the spot is all well and good, but that is like three square inches of map to cover. The instructions on the back read:
Tall tree, Spy-glass shoulder, bearing a point to the N. of N. N. E.
Skeleton Island E. S. E. and by E.
Ten Feet.
Time to find a tall tree then I guess. What’s the worst that could happen? A shrill cry in the distance! That’s what. After nearing the spot the cry came from, one of the pirates finds a Skeleton laid out like a compass needle, pointing E. S. E. and by E. They all agree this must be cruel joke of Captain Flint, no doubt.
Note that the above illustration is Plate 1. It actually appeared at the front of the book, and I figured it would come into play in the story at some point. Also, we learn the parrots name is also Captain Flint, and not Polly. This is both disappointing and a bit late in the book to finally give us it’s name. The author introduces the parrots name as Captain Flint in the same chapter where they are constantly discussing the human Captain Flint. Thanks author. Not confusing at all.
As we have established, this is a superstitious lot, so hearing an eerie cry in the woods then finding a corpse laid out like a pointer raises the pirates hackles. They stick closer together after that. Curse or not, though, the love of booty pushes them forward. The things men do for booty, am I right!?!
XXXII
THE TREASURE HUNT –
THE VOICE AMONG THE TREES
They get up to the plateau that Mr. Skeleton was “pointing” towards. It has a lovely view, and they quickly identify three possible “tall trees.” In their minds the treasure is as good as theirs now, so they stop to eat. While resting, they whisper more spooky things about the late Captain Flint to each other.
Seriously? Haven’t they seen like any 90’s horror films? A bunch of people hanging out in the woods, talking about spooky stuff, and totally ignoring an ominous warning is exactly the sort of thing that gets you murdered. One by one. In a really tense, jump-scare kind of way. True to form, they hear a mysterious voice call out:
Fifteen men on the dead’s man chest
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum
The already scaredy pirates totally lose their shit over this. Then, even more faintly. They hear a voice saying “Darby M’Graw! Darby M’Graw! Fetch the rum aft Darby!”
At this they exclaim that it was the last words of Captain Flint before he died, and they immediately dial the panic up a notch to full-on-wacky-wobbler level. They are unaware of Ben Gunn, you see, and think no one but them could have known that. Like any reasonable person, they assume that the unexplained is caused by ghosts. They whip out the Bible and start praying. Silver tries to buoy their courage by saying “Pish posh! The voice had an echo, and as everyone knows, spirits don’t have echoes. That’s just science, and you can lay to that!”
After more superstitiousing, they realize it wasn’t Flint’s voice, but Ben Gunn! They remark that Ben Gunn was always a bit of a pushover, so dead or alive, he doesn’t pose a threat. This doesn’t address the whole “ghosts don’t have echoes” question, but I guess ghost Ben Gunn isn’t any more threatening than alive Ben Gunn. The fact that human voices being heard near the treasure might indicate that there are actual, living people with it does not occur to them. Because, again, not working with the full Crayola Crayon 64 color box upstairs. More like the 8-pack RoseArt. Gross.
They are all much relieved, except Dick, who was the pirate that ripped the page for the black spot in the first place. It really was a Dick move. He also seems to be coming down with the fever that Dr. Livesey predicted they would all get from camping in a swamp.
Now relieved that it is a ghost of someone less threatening than Captain Flint, and definitely not actual people lying in wait, they pack up and head towards treasure! How do they plan to get it off the island? That sounds like next chapters problem. This chapters problem is finding which of the three tall trees is THE tree. The first two prove to be off the bearing, but the third is spot on, and it is a TREE. Like, that tree was not exaggerating its tallness. That tree took being a tree very seriously.
You may notice the title of the above plate says: “The other men were variously burthened, some carrying picks and shovels.” Love me some olde timey fpellings of words. They get super excited and rush to the tree, only to discover a giant hole with empty crates at the bottom. They are all stamped with “Walrus.” Walrus was apparently the name of Flint’s ship, which sounds both adorable amd terrifying at the same time. Just like an actual walrus. Probably not like Captain Flint though. All names aside, the buried treasure is now an empty hole! Too slow to get the booty I guess. How dare someone steal what Silver and crew already had stealing rights to!
XXXIII
THE FALL OF A CHIEFTON
Silver knows instantly that his failure to find the gold is going to be the final act of his captainship, and possibly his life. He passes a pistol to Jim and the two skulk over to the far side of the pit while the other five pirates scamper into the pit to scrabble at the boards. All they find is a single two-guinea coin, which they are none too pleased about. Technically though, gold is treasure, so they did find treasure. Just not the big ol’ booty they were hoping for. I can definitely understand how failing to find booty can be very frustrating. They climb out to the opposite edge of the pit from Silver and Jim and have some good old fashioned dialogue. Mostly in single syllables. I don’t think Silver’s combination of loud barking and emotional manipulation will get him out of this one. Instead he says:
“Dig away boys, you’ll find some pig-nuts and I shouldn’t wonder.”
Just what is a pig-nut you ask? What’s that? You didn’t ask and want me to just get on with the story? Too bad, cuz I am telling you anyway. I found a reference to a type of plant with a celery-like tuber that is ommy nommy for…you guessed it…pigs. However I also read that it is a type of hickory tree that is found throughout eastern North America. The tubers and nuts are edible, and while humans eat it, they are primarily known for being a staple of wild animals. Also, Nut Tuber is a band I would 100% go see in concert.
In this context it probably refers to the tuber, since the pirates are rooting around in the ground. In any event, being taunted about finding pig-nuts is probably not a compliment methinks. It has the effect of nudging their two collective braincells together to realize that Silver has screwed them over. Again. This is a slow process though, which gives Silver and Jim time to prepare. Just as they make up their mind to charge, they hear a sudden plot twist ring out and two of the pirates drop dead from musket shots. At the sight of two of their fellow pirates getting un-alived, the other three turn tail and run. Three heroes emerge from the bushes: Livesey, Grey, and Ben Gunn.
As a sidenote, this fight scene involves some surprisingly accurate shots. Out of three shots, two of them hit their mark. It is a proven fact that these sort of scenes involve like fifty million bullets and flipping a couch over to hide behind. It always takes a protracted firefight, and a villain monologue to win the fight. And you can lay to that! Also, the couch part never made sense to me. Like, is it a bullet proof couch or something? Anyway, I digress.
Long John Silver manages to smooth talk them into letting him tag along, claiming to have seen the error of his ways. They don’t really believe him, but since heroes are not generally fans of murder, they reluctantly agree to let him follow them. After some brief exposition, they realize that the three remaining pirates are after the boat! They run towards the rowboats with the single-minded focus of someone trying to reach the bathroom in time. That is until Jim points out that the pirates are running the wrong way, so they stop to take a breather and to provide exposition about what they have been up to the last few days.
Turns out Ben Gunn had long ago discovered the treasure long ago, dug it up, and hauled it (in many trips) to his cozy little bat cave. That made the map useless, so they decided to use it as a bartering chip to get out of the stockade. Ben also had plenty of goat jerky in his cave, so they had sweetened the deal by offering to leave the supplies without fear of starvation. As you may recall, Dr. Livesey had gone to visit him before the whole battle of the stockade and subsequent siege. However, seeing as Livesey and friends were under siege in the stockade (presumably) by the time this plan was formed, it is a little unclear how exactly they managed to communicate this plan with Ben Gunn, but I believe the simplest explanation is “mumble mumble, don’t worry about it.” Thus, aided by plot holes, they successfully left the stockade and took the wounded captain to the cave. Then they set an ambush, knowing the pirates would follow the treasure map.
This monologue takes exactly the amount of time needed to reach the boats. This timing is convenient for the narrator, as there is more descriptive prose waiting. They smash one of the boats with a pickaxe they took from the treasure dig site, and set out for the Hispaniola, which is moored seven or eight miles away.
BUT WAIT!
The Hispaniola is not beached in the inlet like they hoped. It is floating calmly just outside it. The high tide must have pulled a Doobie Brothers and let it drift away. In an extraordinary stroke of good luck, aside from the damage to the mast when it was beached, it is entirely intact. This is especially impressive since it took the skilled piloting of Israel Hands to safely get into the inlet in the first place, yet it haphazardly floats safely outside. I seem to recall this exact thing happening earlier in the book. Weird.
With the ship now secure, they sail up to Rum Cove (see map) to scoop up the Squire and Captain Smollet. Plus the treasure. They spend the night in Ben’s bat cave munching on goat jerky and all high fiving each other. Even Long John! Well, sort of Long John, at least. He holds his hand up excitedly for a high five but no one gives him one. Sucks to suck yo.
XXXIV
AND LAST
It’s booty time baby! And you can lay to that! Our heroes start hauling the gold to the ship. Gold, BTW, is heavy AF, so it takes some doing. The rowboats on shore are about a mile away, and then there are three more miles to row to the Hispaniola. How do they still have more rowboats after they have been smashing them every other chapter? My guess is they regenerate during the commercial breaks. They spend the next three days hauling out some treasure, and on the third night they hear distant singing amd shouting. Guess the pirates are nearby. There is some debate in the group about whether they are raving and delirious from malarial fever, or just drunk. In a heroic (though not terribly smart) show of humanity, the doctor offers to go tend to them. For once, Silver’s emotional manipulation is useful for dissuading him from such a suicide mission. Instead, they all agree to the only option is to desert them on the island. They leave a bunch of supplies for the soon-to-be castaways. It is now a question of what will they die from first: malaria, or starvation. Either way, hey have goat jerky for days and possibly they are smart enough to hunt goats and whatnot, but I doubt it.
At long last, with her mission accomplished, the Hispaniola sets sail. Even though all the pilots are dead, and with less than a skeleton crew, they have no problem doing all the boaty things that need boating. They figure it will be hard to take turns boating all the way back to England with so few hands, so they do decide to swing by the Yucatan peninsula to pick up some fresh victims sailors and stores for the trip home.
They go ashore to find recruits and barter and what not, leaving Ben to guard the ship. When they get back they discover that Long John had snuck out with a big sack of gold coins off to parts unknown. No one actually cares that much. They all figure he has traveled to “Not-my-problem Land” which is good enough for them. I guess the moral of that story is that as long as you are incredibly selfish, and don’t care if literally everyone around you dies, you can get out of any situation. As long as you are Silver-tongued, that is. Get it!?! Silver-tongued!?! lolz.
Dividing the treasure makes them all quite rich, so now it’s time for an EPILOGIE MONTAGE! [queue happily ever after music]
Smollett retired.
Grey studied and rose in the sailing world and became part owner and first mate on a ship of his own.
Ben Gunn spent all his money within nineteen days (which is an oddly specific detail) and is now a vagabond living on charity. No more pirating for him at least.
Doctor Livesey apparently does not deserve an epilogue.
Jim has PTSD over the whole thing and wakes up in a panic a lot.
The End
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