After this paragraph the book does that wavy line harp music thing when someone is remembering a flashback or a dream sequence. We are introduced solely to the old seaman, who is a grizzled old man, with a long white scar on his cheek, sporting a dingey blue coat. He has the people skills of…hmmm…of….someone who doesn’t have great people skills. I’ll think of a better metaphor later. He answers every attempt at conversation by “blowing air through his nose at them.” From context I gather this is as off putting as you can get. Like, chewing-with-your-mouth-open level off-putting. He is known to our narrator and friends simply as “The Captain.”

He has chosen this inn as his residence as it is seldom visited, and he asks to be warned if any other seafarers happen by. He explains that he needs ample warning so he may bravely hide in his room from them. He even promises our narrator a silver fourth penny (equivalent in today’s money to approximately sixty-five cents US, if my math holds) if he keeps an eye out for a man with one leg for him.

He pays a few gold coins up front and asked the innkeeper (our narrator’s father) to let him know when he owes more. Whenever the innkeeper does though, instead of gold he receives some more of that off-putting “blowing air through his nose” nonsense that we all know would be quite terrifying even today.

He regularly hangs out in the bottom floor tavern and keeps everyone on their toes by alternating between demanding they listen to his stories, demanding they leave him alone, insisting they ask questions, or being mad they asked too many questions. He is basically squirting testosterone like a tom cat and being an all around bully.

One evening, after the old captain had gotten sufficiently drunk, he bangs his hand on the table and demands silence so he can tell another pirate story. Everyone knows what this means, and, dreading the air through the nose, fall silent. Everyone, that is, except for Dr. Livesey, who has never met the old bully before and keeps on chatting.

Captain: Oi, you! shut it!

Livesey: I have a better idea. How about you keep drinking so you can die an early death and make the world a better place?

Captain: [Springs up and brandishes a stabby stabber while breathing through his nose]

L: Put that away or I will make sure you hang. I am a magistrate as well as a doctor.

C: [breathes through nose for a while then backs down]

L: Good, and if I hear of you doing any more bullying, you’re gonna have a decidedly bad time.

He walks out and the old captain finally stops squirting testosterone all over the place for a while.

Our narrator’s father is not doing too well, and may soon be setting off for everlasting shores. One day an old sailor, quite as unpleasant as our dear captain, walks in. He asks for his “old mate Bill” who we quickly learn matches the description of the captain. Our dear old Bill is out walking, so the equally unpleasant newcomer waits for him behind the door so he might plan a surprise welcome, as old friends who certainly have no ill intentions are wont to do. He loosens his cutlass in a friendly sort of way and crouches in a not-at-all menacing position, ready to pounce. He looks as if he is scared, but trying to bolster his courage. At last Bill the Captain strolls in.

Stranger: Ahoy Bill!

Bill: [stares in shock]

Stranger: C’mon, you know me.

Bill: Black Dog?

Black Dog: None other.

Bill: What do you want?

Black Dog: Just to chat, old chum!

They go and chat in the corner. Our narrator tries to eavesdrop but can’t, and next thing he knows Bill is chasing Black Dog with his cutlass and playing a friendly game of “I am going to cut you.”

As Black Dog runs off bleeding from a shoulder wound, Bill walks back in and demands rum from our narrator, who we now learn is named Jim. As Jim is getting the rum, Bill faints. Dr. Livesey decides to do his doctorly duty and save him, despite everyone (including him) thinking it is a poor course of action.

Jim: He’s hurt. The fight must have mortally wounded him.

Livesey: Nope, all those years of drinking left him in a condition where that little escapade just now caused a stroke. Against my better judgment I will save his life. Time for some state of the art blood letting

He drains some blood and the captain lives. When he recovers, the doctor tells him if he keeps drinking he will die. I have no doubt he has learned his lesson and has sworn off rum forever.

In a complete twist, the first thing he does when the doctor leaves is to ask Jim for a glass of rum. When Jim says no, he resigns himself. He does the only thing a respectable, wizened old sailor can do, and begs Jim for “just one glass.” After Jim gets his rum, Bill cryptically tells him that if he “gets the black spot,” or sees Black Dog, or the man with one leg come by, he is to round up all the magistrates and the old crew of Captain Flint, whoever that is. Even though Jim has no idea who he is talking about, I am sure that the magistrates  would jump at the chance to put the band of ne’er-do-wells back together, so that seems like a solid plan. He also mentions his sea chest which holds some sort of secret. The contents are described in crusty old sailor jargon, so no one has any idea what he means.

It was right about that time that Jim’s father also decides to die, which takes slightly more precedence over a dying curmudgeon. After the funeral everyone is busy being sad. One foggy night an old, blind sailor staggers up and asks to be led inside. Jim starts to protest but the blind man grabs him by the arm and threatens to break it if he does not lead him straight up to old Captain Bill.

Blind Man: Ah, so we meet again. For the first time, for the last time.

Bill: I am thoroughly shocked.

Blind Man: Mission success then. Now hold out your hand, I have this mysterious piece of paper to secretly press into it. It is most likely the black spot.

Bill: But the reader doesn’t know that yet.

Blind Man: True, but as you have spent this entire chapter talking about someone giving you the black spot it is likely.

Bill: [takes mystery paper]

Blind Man: With that I take my leave! GOOD DAY SIR!

The blind man leaves and Bill unrolls the paper while Jim watches.

Bill: [unfolds paper] “Ten O’clock! Six hours. We’ll do them yet!”

He jumps out of his seat and promptly dies. The end.

Jim and his mother now find themselves the proud owners of the corpse formerly known as Captain Bill and his mysterious sea-chest. This is problematic as the blind man is set to return in six hours. To top it all off they expect more scary pirates to show up at any time for the chest, which is a less than ideal prospect.

They decide to rush over to the hamlet in the next cove over to ask for help. At the Inn there they are surprised to find that no one is willing to return with them to the Murder Bed and Breakfast Admiral Benbow. Kids today will never know the joys of knowing your neighbors. And finding them all to be fair-weather friends. The brave denizens of the Not My Problem Inn DO give them a pistol though, and promise to have horses ready should they come running back. They also dispatch a rider to tell the magistrate.

Off they go to return to the Admiral Benbow and gather their wits. They roll the body formerly known as Captain Bill to find the key to the chest, then head upstairs and rummage through that. They find old copies of Pirate Quarterly, with such interesting looking articles as “Blowing Air Through Your Nose – It’s Not Just for Breathing”,  “Stories to Shiver Your Timbers!”, and “Five Things to Looks For to Nail the Perfect Peg Leg.” While this is all fascinating, it is sort of useless. Finally they find a pouch of gold. The coins are of all different nationalities, so the mother painstakingly roots through them to find the exact amount in guineas that she is owed. When Jim points out that there are bloodthirsty pirates due to arrive at any moment, and that an abacus might be overkill in this scenario, she insists the only sensible thing is to take only what is owed, no more, no less.

It’s a good call since they hear ominous whistling before they are done so mom settles for what she has thus far counted and Jim grabs an oilskin map for funsies. Then out the door they rush, only to run into the blind pirate and his friends.

They run away and get as far as the bridge by the Inn when mom collapses and Jim drags her under the bridge to hide. Good call on the weird combination of honesty and greed, otherwise they might have gotten away before the pirates showed up and not had to flee for their lives.

No sooner are they hidden than they hear the sound of pirates rushing the Admiral Benbow. The blind man, who we learn is named Pew, tells them to search the Inn for “Flint’s Fist” which I assume is either the oilskin map that Jim stole or some sort of monkey’s paw relic. They realize the chest has been plundered, so they fan out to look for our hero and his mother. Pew stays put because he is not so great at looking for things. He just lacks vision, you know.

They start squabbling over whether they should keep looking or take the gold they found in the chest and call it good. Pew gets cranky and starts beating them with his stick. In the midst of this camaraderie, they hear cavalry and gunshots from the ridge and decide to skedaddle. Poor Pew is left all alone. That’s what you get Pew. Sucks to suck.

In his anger and confusion, Pew dives into the path of the horses thinking he is diving out of the way and gets squished to death. The riders turn out to be one “Supervisor Dance” that the boy from the Not My Problem Inn rode off to get. I think we can all agree that Dance is a pretty fabulous last name. Mr. Dance picked up some other officials along the way so now it is Group Dance. Line Dance? Safety Dance? Dance Dance Revolution? Yeah, I like that. DDR.

So DDR gather round and take Jim and his mother to the Not My Problem Inn and mother is revived. They go back to the Benbow and it is smashified. And all the money in the till is robbed. Good thing she wasn’t too greedy with Bill’s bag of gold.

After explaining the map, Jim, whose last name we now learn is Hawkins, joins DDR to ride on to Dr. Livesey’s house.

Off they go, and when they get there they are directed to a great hall with Dr. Livesey and Squire Trelawny, who must be of some importance as he has a big powdered wig. After they hear the story, they are astonished and pretty happy about finding the oilskin. They bring out a round of beers (and a juice box for Jim) and treat them to the finest….pigeon pie. Pigeon pie? No please.

They want Jim to spend the night so he can further the plot and narrate anything that might go on there. The rest of DDR is no longer relevant to the story though so they are dismissed to go on their way. Jim relays Captain Bill’s desire to get Captain Flint and the old band back together. Trelawny and  Livesey now describe Captain Flint for the benefit of us avid readers.

I know you want to go get some hot cocoa after a blood chilling description like that, but we are almost done, so bear with me. They bust open the oilskin and discover a ledger book of how much Captain Bill made on raids in his illustrious career, and a map. You’ll never guess what is on the map:

It’s an island, AND it has directions to where treasure is hidden on said island. It’s an island full of treasure. A….Treasure Island?

Livesey and Squire Trelawny both get super excited and start making plans to deck out a ship and leave from Bristol Bay. Jim is to be cabin boy, Livesey the ships doctor, and the Squire is to be the village loudmouth who blabs about all their plans and leads to general wacky hijinks from how Livesey describes him.

Now that we have a vague plan in place, it’s off to Part II