In the daylight, Skeleton Island looks about as friendly as it sounds. The scenery consists of gloomy grey-green woods interrupted by the bare rock cliffs of the mountains. There is no wind, so they have to get out and row. Now that their goal is in sight, discipline among the “gentlemen of fortune” starts to wane. Silver navigates them up the channel to the secret cove by “warping the ship.” If you didn’t have to look that up to understand, ye got more salt in yer bones than a land lubber such as I. For the rest of us, it means tying a rope to something and pulling the ship towards it. In this case though I think it essentially means rowboats acting as tugs. The text doesn’t clarify. I’m actually kind of sad I looked that up. Otherwise I would have assumed the ship was dilithium powered, which is more fun, if a bit anachronistic.

They anchor in the cove and spend the next two pages describing how poisonous and creepy the whole place is, and what a fine spot for plot development as well. The crew is being extra grumpy because the whole scene is really giving them murder cravings. Long John acts all super chipper so the honest crew don’t get all sus. He sings sea shanties and offers everyone some of his signature fried fish sticks. It is pretty obvious that our heroes are about to have a bad time, so they duck out of the whole tartar sauce party and meet in the captain’s cabin.

Captain: So, here’s the deal. If I go out there and try to boss them around, they’ll kill me. If I DON’T try to boss them around, Silver will know we are onto him and then they’ll kill me. Silver would talk them out of it for now if he had the chance, so let’s announce a shore excursion. They can all go hunt for treasure or whatever, and Silver will tell them to calm down.

With that Captain Smollett goes on deck and announces the shore leave. All the pirates fall over themselves to get in the rowboats. Jim hops in one and off they all go for a shore adventure where I am shore at least one murder will occur!!!

As soon as they touch the shore, Jim springs out and bolts into the woods before Long John can have his way with him. Not sure what he hopes to accomplish, since the pirate rowboats are his only way back to the ship, but one can only do what the narrative demands. Downside is that know I am pretty sure that Long John knows that he knows that they know they are about to do dirty deeds. Done dirt cheap.

After his daring escape from no immediate danger, Jim wanders around ogling very dangerous-looking snakes and plants. This is a much wiser choice, because he hears voices drawing near, and now has a chance to dive into the aforementioned poisonous undergrowth and overhear their evil plans of evil. This consists of Silver trying to talk one of the few honest sailors left into joining his crew. During these…..negotiations, a horrible death rattle is heard, and Silver informs our young sailor friend that the sound was likely his buddy Alan’s refusal of the same offer. Who is Alan? Apparently another one of the honest sailors.

This emboldens the young sailor to defiantly walk away and not even attempt to defend himself. Long John throws his crutch like a spear and impales the boy, then he hops over and stabs him a few more times for dramatic effect. Jim faints, and comes to at the sound of Long John blowing a whistle to summon his minions.

Our protagonist decides this might be a good time to extricate himself. It’s good timing, too, since the dramatic scene just ended, so there is no immediate need to stay put. When he is far enough away he stands and runs further into the jungle. Nowhere in particular. He is just trying to find a good spot to throw a pity party. While he is running and contemplating party arrangements like “They will murder me the moment they see me.” and “How will I get off this island?” he finds himself smack dab in front of the focus of next chapter!

As Jim reaches the edge of a valley he sees a shaggy figure dart behind a tree. It appears to be half man, half bear, and half pig. This would mean he has finally seen the elusive and mythical Manbearpig. Deciding that Silver might be a safer choice than Manbearpig, he turns and runs back the way he came. Manbearpig is fast on his heels though, and takes the high road to cut Jim off. Jim can see there is no escape so he stops in order to have a dramatic stand-off. At that point he realizes the creature is not Manbearpig, but

Jim: Who are you?

Chief Raggedness: Ben Gunn. Got marooned here three years ago.

Jim: That would certainly explain the apparel.

Ben: Yep. Been living on a steady diet of resolve to survive long enough to wind up in this book. I do miss cheese though. I dream about it a lot.

J: If I ever manage to get back on board I will make it rain cheddar.

B: If…….Hmmm….sounds like there is some plot exposition behind that statement you will now inform me about.

J: You are quite correct. But first, I think we should hear your backstory:

B: Quite right you are sir. I was a good, pious young boy who knew his catechism. Had a pious mother but then I went wrong. Once I get off this island though I’m going straight! Plus, I’m rich, which means I can just do whatever I want anyway. BTW, that’s not Flint’s ship you’re from, is it?

J: I’m glad you asked as it serves to Segway into the aforementioned plot exposition.

[“Previously, on Treasure Island” montage]

B: Ah, that is quite the predicament. I’ll see your plot exposition and raise you more backstory:

You see, I was here when Flint buried his treasure. We stayed on the ship while Flint and six of his men went ashore to bury it. A week later, he rowed back all by his onesies with no treasure. When we asked what happened to the treasure and the other six, he suggested we go ashore to find out while the ship left. Quite a rude answer I thought.

Then, three years ago, I was on a different ship along with Billy Bones and Long John Silver, and here we found ourselves again at this island. I suggested we go ashore to find the treasure. After twelve days of pointless digging, they were all fairly peeved at me. They gave up and decided to leave me here with a spade to look for it on my own. Again, fairly rude.

So now here we are. I can definitely help you get back aboard. First though, let’s ignore the fact I am stranded here, and haggle over price. Do you think they would be agreeable to, say, a thousand pounds a piece? It is essentially MY treasure, after all.

Jim: Yes yes, I’m sure that’s fine.

Ben: AND a ride home?

J: Well, we will need someone to drive the boat back once we deal with the pirates.

B: True dat. So, now that we have a deal, on to business! So, I made a boat hidden by a cove. We wait till dark and then….

And then BOOM! Shots fired! Literally. It’s fightin’ time! They run back to shore and as they approach they see a British flag crest the horizon!

The Thick Plottens!!!